did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
