I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
