i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
