you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
