I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
