ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize