he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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