I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
