how hairy? two words: wookie tits
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
