he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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