Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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