so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
