she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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