So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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