I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
