you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
ok first of all what the fuck
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
