I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
