I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
