his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
