I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
