You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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