And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
