im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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