I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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