Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
