you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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