i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
