Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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