just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
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