I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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