check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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