And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
