Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
