So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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