well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
