I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I love you.
Bad choice
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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