They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
you never un-have a 4some
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
