Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
