weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
