so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Another day, another engagement, another cat
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize