Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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