Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
