im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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