would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
