I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
