People in love make me want to vomit
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
