your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
