this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Two words: blizzard sex
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize