Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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