I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize