And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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