i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
