If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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