Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
