Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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