yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
