As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
