she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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