Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
