Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dick very happy bro
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
