I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
