I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
ttyl tear gas
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
