so explain again why im purple
no
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize