my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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