someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
