I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
