why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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