My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
