Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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