On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
