I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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