Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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